Oh the Bliss!

"I feel weighted down by the ugly of this world" my exact quote to a friend yesterday. I am tempted beyond belief to wallow in this. So today I will write about poop. Because nothing is funnier when you're feeling crappy than to talk about, well, crap. Tristan is 5 months old and poops on the toilet about 94.4% of the time. He's done this for over two months now. It's really quite nice as I hardly change a dirty diaper. When we were in Big Bear it was great because we had to keep all the trash and take it to the "designated dumpsters" in town, and stinky diapers would've really been a bummer to hang onto for a week. Just the other day his babysitter asked if he ever poops because she'd never changed a dirty diaper, pretty cool eh?  I didn't read a book or listen to a podcast or hear of some hippie clan doing this and set out to potty train my 3 month old. It just kind of happened. I wasn't even going to mention it on a blog because it

I want to write fun things... Like about being pregnant for the fifth time and how that just might turn into the biggest bundle of blessing ever. I want to write about Big Bear and the awesome memories. About Christmas and how Mark wasn't sick. About Ben turning eight and how he's now one year closer to the age of 35 - his true age. I want to write Part 2 of Working Mom. And I want to write about life and all it's wonderful bliss and glory. But I can't. All I can think about is Tori Linda.  I know I'm not her best friend, but I'm a best friend of her big sister. I'm not the one she calls when she has a secret or a new song to share, in fact I don't think she's ever called me. But I remember the day she was born. She probably doesn't know the name of my kids, and I don't know the name of her dog, but I know the significance of her name, and the name of her favorite basketball team and what music she listens to on Spotify. And I know th