Oh the Bliss!

Late Saturday night, at the women's retreat a few weekends ago, some friends and I were sitting around a table stuffing our faces, I mean - politely nibbling on some outrageously delicious food, when a gal in our gang noticed one of our friends had left and not returned. Her bag was there, cell phone, food, everything, but she was not. No biggie, we kept eating, but the minutes passed and she didn't come back, so we kind of started looking around for her, stretching our necks this way and that, but didn't see her anywhere. Soon we started checking bathrooms, our room, any other room we thought she might be in. She's a super cute, petite, Filipino chick and I was beginning, just beginning, to think something had happened. We walked up and down, in and out of halls and doorways looking and asking about her, but she just wasn't anywhere. We were  this close to lighting torches, linking arms, and calling the National Guard when lo and behold there was our friend, just

~ Watching the girls make their commercial debut and cracking up at Mia's "happy" and "sad" faces. I can't wait for it to be finished so I can show everyone! ~ Ben making pumpkin muffins for the family pretty much all on his own. I was blessed by him so many times this week... he is such a cool kid. :) ~ Being blessed by a dear friend who took the "room mom" reigns while I was super sick and pulled together last minute details for me. ~ Discovering ways Tristan looks or acts like members of our family. He hates to have his feet covered and always finds a way to get them to stick out of everything, just like Mark. He sneezes really loud, like my dad. He has a gigantic smile, like Troy. ~ Running into a friend in the parking lot of Trader Joe's just after a challenging phone call regarding visitations with T's mom. I am still blown away at God's sweet gifts to his children and I count that meeting as one of them because of ALL

No shock here, foster care is difficult. It's a roller coaster of emotions. I saw the roller-coaster, I chose to get on the roller-coaster - twice, even - and now right now, in this moment, I'm not really loving the roller-coaster. I never know who to cheer for  - his mom when she has victories, or us when we do. One day I'm renaming him and the next day I'm packing his bags. Up and down, up and down I go. I was sitting across from her last week, watching her hold my, no her, (maybe our?) baby and I was kind of fuming. I really was. I felt like crossing my arms and huffing and puffing something about how easy she has it, just showing up to hold a cute baby for two hours, while I'm exhausted from being up three times a night with him, washing and refilling his bottles all day. . . I really - in my grossly sinful self - wanted to let her have it. And a truth speaking friend texted me...  " Do nothing from  selfish ambition or  conceit, but in  humilit