Oh the Bliss!

The Best Gift Winner in my book is ME because I gave Addison the most awesmest brush in the world! What's that? An awesome brush? Yes. It's awesome because it holds secret magical untangling powers. I don't know how it does it but it does. It boasts of it's awesome de-tangling powers, calling itself the Knot Genie , which is a daring thing to do unless your product really works. It really works! I saw this little beauty on a favorite website of mine, Zulily , where I got a great deal. Addison tries very hard not to complain while I do her hair, but the tangles she gets sometimes are out of this world, so I know it's not feeling good when I'm brushing. Pretty much every time I brush her hair is ended with, "I do NOT like it when you brush my hair." Which I was fine with because I have a feeling, compared to other hair-brushing battles I've heard of, her reaction is pretty mild. But I did want to do something to help my poor, rat slept in, dreadlock

Ben was the first of three surprises. (Addison was the only "Mark and Sarah's" planned child.) It was about 16 hours of labor, the first 10 I "tried" to go without an epidural... I'm no Wendy Wilson people, so got the shot and slept for a few blessed hours. When I woke up I spent 3.5 hours pushing... about 3 hours of which were totally unnecessary - but what did I know? And then he was born... He was born at least 40 years old, just like Mark, so every birthday until then will just be a stepping stone to get him to the age he's really supposed to be. Ben is fantastic, really, I LOVE having a 7 year old Benjamin! He's really enjoyable because he gets super excited about things, and he has the best smile and the brightest eyes and greatest facial expressions. He loves math, and won an award for it last trimester at his school. And he loves Legos. Did I say loves? I meant LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES legos! He is the SWEETEST BROTHER EVER - to Mia. No

I read this (from a 147 blog ) and it it struck me, so I'm posting it here. "While Katie (Davis) was home we were talking about November being "orphan awareness month". Her response was "there is a month reminding people that there are orphans??!" the look on her face showed that she was SOOOO perplexed. It was a sad reality for me that we have to have a special "Orphan Sunday" for believers to acknowledge all of the orphans in the world." I am SO grateful to live in America and to be an American, but good grief, sometimes the things we Americans do, don't do, or need reminding to do, just gets to me. Sometimes I feel like we. have. no. clue. Like when I get frustrated with my kids because they don't take care of their stuff and I tell them there are children who have nothing and it goes in one ear and out the other because that statement really doesn't register with them. Why would it? Every single person they know has every si

Addison: Mom, what will you give me if I do nothing wrong for a whole day? Me: Sounds lovely, but it's not possible. Mom and Dad can't even go a whole day without doing one thing wrong, because we are human and we can't be perfect. Do you know who the ONLY person to go, not just one day, but his WHOLE LIFE without doing one thing wrong is? Troy: (raising his hand, of course) Is it ME? Oh Troy... **Incase you were thinking maybe Troy is a good answer, the correct answer is JESUS. 2 Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin , so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

My mom is awesome and loves to read and Christmastime was a great way for her to share that love with us kids! I've carried on the Christmas book warm fuzzies by starting a new tradition in my own little family: I buy a new Christmas book (or two) each year - and date it with a lovely Sharpie so I'll remember when it was the book struck my fancy. Here is a little list of some of my favorite Christmas books: (OH! And because I like to abuse my blogging power by plugging adoption/orphan care anytime I can... Did you know that READING to a foster/adopted kid is one of the BEST ways to bond, infant and teenager alike? Well it is! The more you know...) Alrighty, here we go... in no particular order... Who Is Coming To Our House? Super cute little rhyming board book about the animals in the stable getting ready for Mary and Joseph to arrive. We all sing the songs at Christmas, priests and pop-stars do it, but do we know where they come from or why they were written? Stories Behind t

I was introduced to All Sons and Daughters by the ever awesome Beckey B. and have pretty much fallen in love. I listen to their cd over and over and over, repeat, repeat, repeat... you get the picture. I recognize this is not everyone's type of music, but this song is breathtakingly beautiful because the words are. so. powerful. It's long, and slow, and you won't listen to the whole thing because I know you, and you don't plan on spending more than 1:16.2 minutes (that's 1 minute, 16 seconds and 2 milliseconds) reading a post. I know because I timed myself reading three of mine and averaged them out. :-) (That's not entirely true, I guessed the average because I hate math.) Back to my point... this song is like 6 times the length of time you're willing to spend here, BUT, just for me, because it's December and it's the month of giving, because the 6th is St.Nicholas Day and you want to observe it by giving the gift of time, listen to the entire song

Me: Troy, you are NOT allowed to scream at the top of your lungs! Troy raises hand to ask a question. T: Am I allowed to scream at the bottom of my lungs? Me: NO. T: What are lungs? Me: Lungs hold air in your body. T: In my booty? God was so gracious with Troy when He formed him. He knew that Troy would struggle with anger and self control and would require lots of heart training and patience. He also knew that Troy would have a mom who is prone to yell, but has a weakness for humor. So God gave Troy super humor strength. The best part of this gift is that it shines in the greatest moments; moments when this mama would otherwise be tempted to scream and shout and throw a fit of her own. I will never forget my very favorite "anger-breaker"... Me: Troy, one day you are going to be accountable for your actions! T: AWESOME! I would LOVE to be a cannon ball!!! Thank you Lord for Troy and his humor. Thank you for his strength and passion. I cannot wait to see how you are going to

The kids and I were playing outside on this beautiful fall day when we heard little kids laughing just a few houses down. Ben scoped it out and sure enough the neighbors were out enjoying the day as well. We have lots of kids in our neighborhood, we see them all the time running and riding and laughing, but we have yet to stop and play because of one seemingly major factor: We don't speak the same language. Ben asked if we could walk down and see if they wanted to play and I hesitated for a moment, then remembered this blog I read yesterday and was inspired to step out of my comfort zone. We walked on down and I scrambled to dust the cobwebs off of my three years of high school Spanish. My kids walked up to the other two, a boy and a girl, and they all just stared at each other. Their mother was standing waaaaaaay off so I smiled and waved to her, she smiled and stayed put. Random spanish phrases flew around my head, but I tried to focus. I know where the library is, so "dond

When I get home from the foster/adopt classes I want to smother my kids with hugs and kisses. I want to let T play with my hair as long as he wants and get back in bed in the mornings so he can come and snuggle with me (something I sacrificed when I started getting up before the kids). I want to listen to Addie tell really long stories that I usually don't have the time to hear the end of. I want to play soccer with Ben, whoever gets to THIRTY wins - instead of whoever gets to five. I want to get down and look Mia in the eyes when I talk with her and hold her every time she says "Hold you mommy!". I go to these classes and I learn about our next child and maybe it was or maybe it wasn't held as a baby. Maybe it had dinner, but probably not, and if it did it most likely came from the minimart down on the corner. I learn about toddlers who hoard food because it's a survival skill they've acquired. T throws a fit and it lasts -at the longest- 5 minutes. I learn

My mom works in a lab at big hospital in Fullerton. Every Thursday a group of teenage girls from the local group home come in to get tested for drugs, STD's, pregnancy... the whole shebang. I told my mom to be really nice to these girls because one of them could be my baby's mama. That was a fun-scary-sobbering-exciting-close-to-home thought. I'm sure my mom was super thrilled to think about it like that. :) Thankfully, I know my mom will lean on the verse that she taught me as a child, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid." John 14:27 We know that whatever child we care for will be coming from a majorly less than ideal situation. If a baby is in foster care it's not that the mother is choosing to put it there, it's that the state is taking the baby away. And if the fostering leads to adoption, which is our hope, then the reasons why parental rights

A couple kids ago I realized the truth about Daylight Savings Time; It was invented by someone without children. It's been all over facebook, and everywhere else people can publicly complain about life, kids are getting up an hour earlier and yuckiness inevitably follows. Everyone I know with kids (EXCEPT the amazing Karis Wilson, who just might be the perfect child) was affected by DST in one way or another, so I figure this is a good time to talk about my "Bag of Quiet Fun". Mia is really loud when she wakes up. SCREAMS for me, then DAD, then BUBUH, then aaaaahDEEEEEEEEEEEE... never really for Troy, (sorry Troy!!). This wasn't that big of a deal until a month or so ago when I started deliberately wanting to wake up before her. I set my alarm for O'Dark-thirty and began to enjoy the quiet house for about an hour before she would stir. It's like she could smell me waking up. Within a few days she was waking up at o'dark-thrity as well. That's when I r

It's that time of year again... the time of year when I have to fight off every instinct I have to retreat back into my little Christian bubble and not resurface until Easter. I hate Halloween . I made a valiant effort last year to like it, and make it somehow redeemable, but that didn't go so well. It's not just the fact that it's a day dedicated to celebrating pretty much everything I live my life fighting against. It's that it marks the day that begins a season which tends to brings out the worst in my children. The fuss about what to wear, all the comparisons over who got how much candy, the boasting, the jealousy, the insatiable need for MORE. It begins today, October 31st, then carries over all the way to December 25th. It's an attitude that takes over my children where all they can think about is when the next time they're getting something is. Right after Christmas is Ben's birthday, and by "right after" I mean the next day. MORE. 30 d

Got creative with Addie-girl... Spent the day here with the first born... Laughed at this dude... Stumbled upon Filipino food with this guy... Spent some quiet times with this tiny one...

Word is out that we are expanding the FitzFam once again!! This time by way of adoption, which is so unbelievable that we're here - doing this - for real. Where do I begin? After we had Addison we wanted to adopt but (BUT GOD) I found out I was pregnant with Troy. After Troy we wanted to adopt but (BUT GOD) I found out I was pregnant with Mia. This time around I've pretty much been whispering "adoption" in fear of getting pregnant again. But (BUT GOD) here we are, adopting, and I'm not pregnant. I was all about international, really it's all I knew. My friends who've adopted have gone overseas, and I had huge fears wrapped up in doing a domestic adoption and having a birth mother to contend with. For some reason I thought for over seas adoptions - out of sight out of mind. (Clearly a naive and immature rationale.) But (BUT GOD) my mind was slowly changed and my heart grew softer and softer and all of the sudden domestic didn't seem crazy and fostering

I've written about her before. I've had the honor of listening to her speak before. I've been profoundly blessed by the work God is doing through her in Uganda. PLEASE COME! Buy her new book , support Amazima , be a part of this amazing ministry. It will be well worth your time. Mariners Church Mission Viejo 7:00pm ****If childcare is keeping you from coming please let me know , I have a sitter for you - guaranteed .

Sitting at a table of strangers at a wedding the inevitable "What do you do" question went around. Lot's of really interesting jobs were mentioned and then it was my turn. A sweet gal, who just finished telling me about her fancy job, asked me, "So what do YOU do." I kind of laughed and said, "I'm a mom". Her husband hollered out, "Oh, CRUISING!" which I took to mean he figured my days were spent relaxing with a tasty, umbrella adorned beverage in my hand. I chuckled. They didn't have any kids, so a large amount of grace was shown. I've been getting this question a lot, maybe I'm meeting lots of new people which is awesome, and usually I get a similar reaction, and I'm here to say I'm fine with it. You know why? Because some people know from the time they are very young that they want to be a doctor when they grow up, and they grow up to be a paper pusher in a cubical. Some people say they want to be a teacher and the

This afternoon I had the opportunity to sit in a pretty fantastic, resort-like spa with some gal pals, uninterrupted for over an hour, with no children present. It's beautiful for so many reasons: 1. I was not splashed in the face, not even once. 2. I didn't have to hold my bathing suit up with one hand due to a clinging, grabbing, half drowning Mia. 3. I started, and completed, entire conversations. Whole and complete conversations people! 4. I wasn't constantly counting heads, or saving lives. The two go hand in hand. 5. There was no fear of a floater, and I'm not talking about a child if you know what I mean... This hasn't happened in, I don't know, 6.75 years. And if THAT'S not a blog worthy moment I don't know what is. :)

I'll take that table, the one with the cops. This guy is quiet, what's his deal? Quiet but cute. Those eyes! So I met this police officer the other night at the diner... He came back! Here's my number. He called. Who knew such a quiet guy could talk until the sun comes up? Driving home from Jason's soccer game, Wahoo's? Sure! Is that the sunrise? We talked the night away again. A real first date, happy birthday. Luciana's... you're dating me with the intent to marry. Mr. Lufrano says I'm "the One". How was breakfast with my dad? Walk on the cliffs after church. You're down on one knee. Yes! Of course yes. Always... You're at the end of the aisle waiting for me. I do. Always... Flying Cloud. A puppy! A kitten! We move, we move, we build a house, IT'S A BOY!, we move, IT'S A GIRL!, IT'S A BOY!, new company, IT'S A GIRL!, we move, cut a job, we move. We love. Always. Always.

Not all days will be like this, I get that. But boy, do I LOVE it when homeschooling looks like this and this and this and even this. When we listen to Mozart and pick apart Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf, and we break for painting and Bible and poetry and homemade applesauce. And each child works well and plays well independantly, allowing me to focus on one kids at a time. Multiple times this morning I looked around and thought, "Are you kidding me Lord?? This is SO not my doing, You have given me the best job in the world!" Of course, last week I was laying in the couch when Mark came home from work, crying, "I don't want to be a mom who puts her kids in preschool because she can't stand them!" but that was totally how I felt. I was tired and easily irritated and everything I had planned had gone differently than what I so beautifully painted in my mind. This morning I prayed for my homeschooling friends who, my like myself, can feel overwhelme

At 19 months you have lots of words, your first very clear words were No!, Stop!, and Don't!... I wonder why...:-) You call your blanket "ganket" and your water "ahdoo". You call all of us by our names, Mommy, Daddy, Addie or Ad, Bubba (ben) and Tutu (Troy). You get yourself a bowl when you want a snack and you're pretty good at getting your own snack too - although you rarely eat all of whatever it is you grabbed (usually a bar). You're most hilarious and giddy around 7pm, which is kind of unfortunate because that's your bedtime, but if you stay up later you don't really get crabby, just silly. You love babies!! You love to talk on the phone with Nana, and ask to at least twice a day. You love dogs (goggies) and birds (tweet-tweets) and horses ( MEEEEEeeeeeee!). And you love shoes, especially other people's shoes. When we are at the beach you are most happiest walking up and down the shore trying on (and stealing) other people's flip flo

Three wise men were carrying heavy loads while on their way to visit the King. They had been traveling a long time, and were tired, but they were anxious to be the first ones there, so they pressed on. One wise man carried a large satchel, the largest I've ever seen. The leather strap of the bag dug into his shoulder and the weight of the contents burdened one side of his body so greatly that he walked with a limp. The satchel itself dragged alongside the man as if filled with boulders, digging a trail in the path behind the traveler. The wise man made a great show of his walk; step, drag, step, drag, umphing and huffing down the road. The second wise man walked hunched over, bending under the great weight of his load as well. Across his back a canvas draped, mountainous object was held in place with giant chains criss crossing his chest again and again. They clinked and clunked together as he walked, rhythmically in time, one heavy step after the next. The wise man did nothing to

I tell you what, after a FULL day of pulling stuff out of nooks and crannies and corners and shelves and boxes (that haven't been opened in three moves) I am feeling good! We can actually park one car in our (two car) garage, it's amazing! I tried to evaluate what I consider precious, and for what reason, and after it was all said and done, after HUGE amounts of stuff were set out on our curb for Salvation Army (or whomever so desires) one thing became very clear to me - I am a sucker for monograming. What in the world? I had no problem putting sweet little shoes and tiny little newborn socks into the bag, but, Lord help me, if it had an A for Addie anywhere on it I held onto it for dear life! Burp cloths. Who keeps burp clothes? They clean up our baby's snot and semi-digested puke. But slap TROY across the bottom in a cute font with a ribbon and there is NO WAY I can part with such a dear thing. A tattered cloth tote, worn at the seams with holes in the corners, obv

I dress them in swimsuits. Slather on the sunscreen. Pack snacks, towels and a changed of clothes. Head to fountains at the Spectrum and.... NOTHING. They want nothing to do with the water. BUT Go at 7pm when they should be well on their way to bed, to run into Target, where the fountain happens to be strategically placed in front of, with no swimsuits, no towel or change of clothes, not even a napkin to dry off with, and BAM they swarm the fountain like they're going on a ride at Disneyland! Every fiber of being told me it was going to end badly. I saw them eyeing it, I saw them tip-toeing over, I saw them look back at me for approval aaaaaand I could not resist! Before they got too carried away I informed them that it was gong to be an ugly ending. They were going to be cold and wet and miserable and they wouldn't be allowed to complain because I told them it was going to happen. (Like when they receive a balloon and I make them recite, "This balloon wil

"Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered..." I wish I had read this at the beginning of my day instead of right now... I wonder if my disgusting and horribly ugly attitude toward my children would've been any different had I been giving "thanks to the Lord and calling upon his name"? Multiple times today I was the one who was out of line. I was the one who was yelling and throwing a tantrum. I was not "telling of all his wondrous works" in the least bit. I did not seek the Lord and his strength, nor his presence continually. I sought my chocolate chips cookies and rejoiced in bedtime. And now I'm

I almost didn't go to church this weekend because I didn't feel pretty. There are so many things wrong with that statement I don't even know where to begin! Mark had to be there early so he was already gone, the kids were fed, dressed and ready to go, and there I was in the bathroom washing and plucking and brushing and powdering and painting my face all so that ... so that what? I could be more acceptable to God? So that I could apply the sermon more accurately or worship more beautifully? No. What it was, really, was me trying to make it look like I hadn't spent the day deep cleaning bedrooms and folding 6 loads of laundry. It was me thinking about what I wore the previous week to make sure I didn't wear it again. And there I was, making my family late, and contemplating not even going because I didn't feel pretty. I recognized the sin of vanity right away and marched myself to church, but I'm still so bothered that my solution to my "problem&quo

(For my memory...) Near the end of Toy Story 3 there's a scene where Woody, Buzz and all of Andy's toys are falling down a huge garbage pit into an incinerator. The kids were watching that movie today and I was off doing dishes when I hear Addison yelling at the computer screen, "PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD! PUT YOUR FAITH IN JESUS! HURRY! PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD!" I ran over wondering what on earth she was doing and she told me, "All the toys are going down to hell so I'm telling them to put their faith in God so they can be saved." People say that children don't "get it" when it comes to being a Christian. They say they are too young to fully understand the implications of being a follower of Christ. I might agree, to some extent. But I live with Addison Sarah Fitzpatrick, and I think Jesus had her pictured in his mind when he talked about childlike faith. He had to have been thinking about Addie when he told the disciples to back off an

Ben had a little academic assessment before starting Kindergarden and it was pointed out that he didn't stay inside the lines very well when coloring and I almost said "Thank you!" but then realized they saw this as not such a great thing. I guess years of me telling him that if he wanted to extend the landscape of his imagination beyond the bold black boundary lines in his coloring book he could because he was the artist and it was his masterpiece wasn't the quite the training they were looking for. (Side note: I have since learned to appreciate the lines in coloring books as good tools for teaching self control and following directions. There are blessings in obedience, even in coloring books!) Another reason why I'm thankful to have Ben home two days a week during the school year; we can be as creative and "boundary-less" as we want with our art. I've always wanted to be an artist, but have never dedicated any substantial time to tapping into t

It's gonna break his heart one day when he figures out the implications of the word "COUSINS".

It is no surprise that I have to fight to get face time with each of my children, or rather they have to fight to get face time with me. Sometimes it's 6pm and I'll grab a face between my hands and say, "Have I even SEEN you today?" Isn't that sad? I look at my kids all day long. I look at them when I'm helping them pull a shirt over their head, or buckling a bike helmet. I look at them around the dinner table and when I tuck the blankets under their chins bedtime. But do I really see them? It is a conscious decision for me to stop whatever it is I'm doing and turn to my child to answer their question - after I've let them complete the question - while looking them straight in the face, really seeing them. When Ben had his moral interview for his school, over a year ago, one of the habits he showed was this: He fully listened to the questions they asked, and answered them spot on, but kept his eyes on other things, almost like he was too busy to stop

We like to have a chapter book to read to the kids before bedtime. We've done the first three books in the Narnia series, then The Jesus Storybook Bible (which we adored and still read often) and just recently I picked up this little beauty from our church's bookstore, Dangerous Journey: The Story of Pilgrim's Progress. Loving it, loving it! I read Pilgrim's Progress in Jr.High and really enjoyed it, and this version stays true to the original by John Buynan, but in a more concise form. It doesn't shy away from the evil of this world but also beautifully illustrates the (eventual) victory Christians have over evil through Christ our Savior. And did I mention the pictures are gorgeous? They are. If you're looking for something a little heavier to read with your kids, and they love action and adventure stories with a Biblical theme, then pick then check this book out. PS. Compass Bible Church sells the book for a dollar less than Amazon, if you're in the Al

I talk too much. I defend myself when I should be humble. I'm a one-upper, especially when it comes to talking about my kids. I think about what I'm going to say next while barely listening to the person who is still talking. I talk a lot about things I want to do and then do hardly any of them. I misrepresent my God, which is heartbreaking and scary. I hurt people's feelings. I comment on facebook and blogs like it's my job, no really, like it's my duty to put my two cents worth in, like I'm doing people a great service. I'm kinda grossed out by the amount of ME I put out there. It's not about me. It's about Christ, period. And when I talk and talk and talk I take that focus away, and kind of borrow his glory for a moment, and it has got to stop. Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Isaiah 32:17 And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust f