Oh the Bliss!

I am acutely aware that our second go with foster care has gone incredibly smooth. We got an infant - everyone's dream. He has been extremely easy, always been a great sleeper and eater, has no residual effects from the 9 months he spent in his birth-mom's womb. He's happy,  healthy (though he's had more colds than I can count), follows directions and if all that weren't enough the boy's been pooping on the potty since he was 4 months old! So yeah, we'd be considered an ideal story, I'd say. But that doesn't mean the road has always been easy, for me especially. There are many times when I tiptoe toward (and completely fall over) the edge of frustration and annoyance , "why does he have to act this way, none of the other kids ever acted like this." , which leads to doubt, " Would I be this annoyed if one of my biological children were doing this?", which leads to guilt, " I can't believe I singled him out because he...

No shock here, foster care is difficult. It's a roller coaster of emotions. I saw the roller-coaster, I chose to get on the roller-coaster - twice, even - and now right now, in this moment, I'm not really loving the roller-coaster. I never know who to cheer for  - his mom when she has victories, or us when we do. One day I'm renaming him and the next day I'm packing his bags. Up and down, up and down I go. I was sitting across from her last week, watching her hold my, no her, (maybe our?) baby and I was kind of fuming. I really was. I felt like crossing my arms and huffing and puffing something about how easy she has it, just showing up to hold a cute baby for two hours, while I'm exhausted from being up three times a night with him, washing and refilling his bottles all day. . . I really - in my grossly sinful self - wanted to let her have it. And a truth speaking friend texted me...  " Do nothing from  selfish ambition or  conceit, but in  humilit...

 I've been thinking about foster care and how the addition of a foster child has a pretty significant ripple effect. There are so many people involved in this little baby's life. And because we say yes, a lot of other people have to say yes too, whether they choose to or not. We ask our kids to say yes to another sibling. Our parents to another grandchild. Our family to another nephew or cousin. Our friends to more chaos. Our church to another sheep to tend. Our babysitter to another charge. All over the place we are putting this baby out there for others to take in as we have, all the while not knowing how long he'll be around or how attached to get. We tell you; love him like we love him, and it's a lot to ask. Thank you . Because he could be gone tomorrow, or in a month, or in a year. He could rip your heart out, and that hurts. He's family now, but we all know he's not really family, not really , and you might not know what to do with that. Thank ...

(Well that's a sad title.) I never posted the afterthoughts of saying goodbye to our little Nicolas... It's taken me this long to figure out what to share, what not to share, who to share it with etc., but sweetie-pie people, people who prayed so hard, and gave so much, and loved him even though they didn't know how long we'd have him, are asking about him. So I'll do my best to answer...  How did saying goodbye go?  How is he doing?  How are we doing? Will we do it again? When? I LOVE talking about him, and fostering, and adoption (though I don't know nearly enough of that aspect -yet) so if I don't cover it here PLEASE ask!! Also, I realize this post is longer than most of you are willing to read in one sitting, so I highlighted the answers if you want the Cliff Notes version - and not any of the juicy details, you instant gratification junkies you. Saying goodbye was easier than I thought it was going to be , and I totally give credit for ...

I have an idea who you might be, but I have no idea when Nicolas will go "home" with you, so I thought I'd write you a letter now to be sure I get everything down before I blink and he's gone. Here is my list of do's and don'ts for this precious gift, (you know he's a precious gift, right?) please follow this list in it's entirety. Don't let him take more than one bite of food at a time. Have him sign "more please" when he's finished chewing. When he's done eating, have him sign "All done", he can sign because he's super smart, did you know that? Practice what noises different animals make. Have him play Simon Says with you. Play different music and dance with him, he is a great dancer! Take him to the park every day if you can. He loves the swings, but don't let him stay in the swings the whole time you're there. Don't let him snack the whole time you're there either, make him run and climb and play...