A Post on Prayer
About a month ago a sweet young lady asked if I'd share some advice on how I prayed through being able to leave our home (and family, and friends, and church, and basically everything I've ever held dear - besides my man and kiddos - obvs...) She asked what changed in my heart to be able to let God's plans (moving) be bigger than my plans (staying).
Here are three things I would consistently pray, every day, when my little "Pray for Boise" alarm went off. There was always more... but this is what I'd start with.
~ Ask God to soften my heart, and that I'd be "quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" James 1:19.
If we were going to NOT move I wanted it to be because God changed Mark's mind, not because Mark got sick of me sobbing at the very mention of the "M" word, and whining about wanting to stay. Stephanie Schwartz, the Director of Women's Ministry (at Compass AV), shared the greatest wisdom, she said, "If your husband can clearly repeat back to you your thoughts, wants and desires about a certain topic, then you don't need to say them again. Just pray." I knew Mark knew how I felt. It was doing no good to tell him over and over again, like he was going to forget. This forced me to trust God would work in Mark - I didn't need to.
~ Ask God to protect our conversations, that they would "give no opportunity to the devil" Ephesians 4:27. There is nothing the enemy likes more than dissension amongst the ranks, right? Not seeing eye to eye in even the slightest ways is enough for him to get a wedge in our relationship and I did NOT want that to happen. I would pray God would protect us from all the enemy's attempts to have a hay-day on our marriage. NOT TODAY, SATAN!
~ Pray for a purpose. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28 We know that God doesn't NEED to give reasons, right? But in this particular circumstance, I would pray daily for a reason or a purpose for moving. I asked God, in his kindness and grace, to allow me to know the WHY. I knew I would trust Him no matter what, but in that time, I wanted a purpose for going. Mark had about 100 reasons why, but I was praying to have one of my own. (I suppose that would be considered a selfish prayer, but I prayed it nonetheless). When we found out about the church plant I was given the purpose, and it felt like God's kindness just flooded over me. He didn't have to give me a reason, but wow, it was so kind of him to.
It should be noted, that while I was praying for God to give me a desire to move, MARK was praying that God would give him a desire to STAY!! We joke about how we were canceling out each others prayers. :) But, in actuality, what we both were doing was praying for God's will to be done, in spite of us. When the church plant came about, something neither one of us had anything to do with, we could only point to God. HE did that. Mark didn't "win." It was just so plainly God's doing, and I couldn't argue with that.
My encouragement to you (and to all who are praying through big changes and difficult decisions) would be to:
~Keep praying for wisdom for your husband as he leads your family.
~Consider the gifts God has given you and how you could use them in a different place.
~Pray for God to soften the hearts of your family and friends, that He would use this decision to draw them closer to Him.
Most importantly, keep a high view of God. It's a concept (and a life practice, really) that radically changed my life a few years ago. Keeping HIM top dog means trusting he will fill voids in your heart when you're missing your family, give you a purpose in a new land, and tend to you when your heart is hurting. When God has an higher place value in your life than yourself, than your husband, than your children, than your family and friends, then there is no telling the ways he will provide for you!! It's really quite freeing and exciting! At a certain point, I had to realize when I would ache over leaving my family I was acting out of fear. Fear of what they would say, fear of being alone, fear of the life I imagined gone. BUT, fear is an indicator of a low view of God. God, the creator of the universe, has promised to never leave you or forsake you, Deuteronomy 31:6. He has vowed to strengthen you, help you, uphold you with His righteous right hand, Isaiah 41:10. He will restore your soul, and comfort you, Psalm 23. For SURE there will be sadness, but let me encourage you to not linger there, God is GREATER than heartbreak and sadness. Keep a high view of Him and see how he will meet all of your needs.
My alarm still goes off every day, and I pray for my sweet friends - like you! To you who are figuring all this moving/staying (LIFE) stuff out, God is faithful! He has your best in mind. Keep praying!
Isaiah 55:8-11
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."
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