Small Stuff
Sometimes I think I'm really hard on my kids, one in particular. Lately I've been trying to discern what is really important and what is really not that big of a deal as far as issues to take up with them. More and more I think about my own parents and how I think they were really good at knowing the difference between heart issues and surface issues. I got my belly button pierced and wore really really dark lipstick and gigantic hoop earrings. I'm sure they thought it was the most disgusting, stupidest thing to do, but they didn't make a fuss. Jason got tattoos and they didn't go on and on about it. Darren, wait Darren was perfect... Just kidding! I'm sure Darren did some stuff too they could've harped on for days but instead they realized there were greater things at stake in our lives than whether or not my lipstick was a light enough shade or my shoes were tied with a keyring.
Some things they did care about; the words that came out of our mouths was a big one. They monitored this by putting a lot of weight on the content of the music we listened to. I remember one time I was obsessed with Mariah Carey (don't judge) so much so that I had copied out all the words to one of her songs so I could more accurately memorize them. I think my dad saw the sheet of paper and brought it to my attention. He had me read the lyrics to him out loud and holy smokes it was so embarrassing! Then he showed me in the Bible the verse that says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34. He told me that I was memorizing these words and writing them on my heart and when it came time for me to make a difficult decision I would be pulling from these words, and did I really want to make my decisions off of a Mariah Carey song? I remember thinking, it's just a song! Who cares? But the fact that he took the time to question and discus my attraction to such a strongly worded song made me think he must really care about this issue. So I stopped listening to it.
When I was elementary school age they were influential, whether I knew it or not, in the friends that I made. Making it very easy for me to hang out with certain ones they were fans of and - what do you know we're busy on that day TOO -very difficult for me to hang out with ones they didn't think would be a good influence on me.
They gave punishments that fit the crimes. They were very aware that my brothers and I were very different and knew the best ways to correct us depending on our personality. Sitting next to Darren in a class in Jr. High because he kept getting "talks excessively" on his report cards. Making Jason stay indoors - basically crippling him. Keeping me from going to an event where I was sure to see lots of friends and flap my social butterfly wings. And when we were really young they, well lets just say they did NOT spare the rod. Thanks mom and dad!
They prayed for our hearts, our character, our salvation. Knowing, in their God-given wisdom, that the lasting issues were not on the outside but -oh this is so cliche- what's on the inside that counts.
So when my kid keeps making the same disgusting sound over and over again I try to stop and ask myself, is this a salvation issue? Because really, what's a silly sound matter when there's a heart in the balance?
Some things they did care about; the words that came out of our mouths was a big one. They monitored this by putting a lot of weight on the content of the music we listened to. I remember one time I was obsessed with Mariah Carey (don't judge) so much so that I had copied out all the words to one of her songs so I could more accurately memorize them. I think my dad saw the sheet of paper and brought it to my attention. He had me read the lyrics to him out loud and holy smokes it was so embarrassing! Then he showed me in the Bible the verse that says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34. He told me that I was memorizing these words and writing them on my heart and when it came time for me to make a difficult decision I would be pulling from these words, and did I really want to make my decisions off of a Mariah Carey song? I remember thinking, it's just a song! Who cares? But the fact that he took the time to question and discus my attraction to such a strongly worded song made me think he must really care about this issue. So I stopped listening to it.
When I was elementary school age they were influential, whether I knew it or not, in the friends that I made. Making it very easy for me to hang out with certain ones they were fans of and - what do you know we're busy on that day TOO -very difficult for me to hang out with ones they didn't think would be a good influence on me.
They gave punishments that fit the crimes. They were very aware that my brothers and I were very different and knew the best ways to correct us depending on our personality. Sitting next to Darren in a class in Jr. High because he kept getting "talks excessively" on his report cards. Making Jason stay indoors - basically crippling him. Keeping me from going to an event where I was sure to see lots of friends and flap my social butterfly wings. And when we were really young they, well lets just say they did NOT spare the rod. Thanks mom and dad!
They prayed for our hearts, our character, our salvation. Knowing, in their God-given wisdom, that the lasting issues were not on the outside but -oh this is so cliche- what's on the inside that counts.
So when my kid keeps making the same disgusting sound over and over again I try to stop and ask myself, is this a salvation issue? Because really, what's a silly sound matter when there's a heart in the balance?
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