Troy is ONE!

I don't even know what to say about this boy, I love him so much. One year ago today, at 10:25pm, this 8 pound 7 ounce, round faced, big cheeked baby entered our lives. All day today I've been replaying that day over in my mind and often found myself saying out loud, "at this time one year ago I was...". The day I give birth is like no other day I will ever live, no matter how many babies I have. And I think most mothers will say that. I can ask almost any mom the story of their labor and deliveries and with very few exceptions hear down to the tiniest details all of what happened that day for each child.

I remember being at the mall with B & A and my MIL, the evening of my due date, and around 6:30 telling Tina I just didn't feel right. A couple of hours later I called my parents and told them it might be the night but I wasn't 100% sure so if they didn't want to come down I'd understand, I'm glad they came down. I also called Mark around 9ish and told him I was having some contractions but I couldn't promise it was the real deal so if he couldn't get off work I'd understand if stayed a couple more hours, I'm glad he didn't stay a couple more hours. I remember FaceBooking that we were leaving for the hospital around 9:30ish, we stopped at Starbucks on the way. I remember getting to the hospital and feeling really good in between my regular contractions, being able to talk and laugh and breath - all things I wouldn't be able to do a few minutes later. I don't think the nurses thought anything of me at first because I was super calm and in control. Then things changed. Fast. I went from feeling totally in control to totally out of control. I was checked into the hospital at 9:50ish and Troy was born 35 minutes later. That is the Readers Digest version which doesn't include the minute details I also remember. Like trying to put Ben to bed like everything was normal but he could definitely tell something was wrong with me and I felt so bad because I knew I was scaring him a little bit. Or the bluest of blue eyes of Mark's just inches away from me looking so deeply into me assuring me I could do it when I was saying over and over how I couldn't. I also remember looking straight at the doctor on call, whom I'd never met before in my life, and feeling immediately empowered by her just by looking at her calm, steady face... the only face in the room who looked completely at ease. I remember pushing twice and then hearing the sweetest words spoken by Mark... It's a boy.

Troy is my smily boy, that's not news to anyone, his smile is fantasticly delicious. Over the last year he has slept in my room longer, nursed more frequently, smiled earlier, laughed later, woken me up more, cuddled more, napped less, walked better, fallen more, cried less over those falls, been left without me less, and smiled WAY more than his brother or sister did in their first years. He has challenged me physically and mentally. He has charmed just about everyone who knows him. He is determined to eat me out of house and home when he's a teen and he's starting that practice now. He is a bruiser, and bullishly goes about his playing. He loves mud, water, dirt, all things messy. And he loves, loves, LOVES me. And I love him so much too, it makes my heart hurt sometimes.

Happy birthday Troy-boy, (or Troy-the-boy as Addison has taken to calling him). You are my hearts desire for a son and I am giddy with excitement over who the Lord is making you to be.