Please?

I really try to live under a banner of believing I don't (no one does) have the right to be comfortable. (Most everything I have is a privilege, not a right.) This notion aside, there a few things that I believe would really make my(pregnant)self a heck of a lot more, um, pleasant.

~ Mark has a really cool feature in his snazzy car where at the touch of a button seat coolers turn on and within seconds his buns are nice and chilled... it's not tiny air holes blowing cold air up, his seat literally gets colder, like with a coolant or something. Anyway, I wish I had that feature, but in my bed. I feel like my legs are always hot, no matter what. I wake up all night long to my legs moving about searching for that one cold spot left on the sheet. How awesome would that be to have a cooling agent running through my pillow-top mattress keeping my legs cool as cumbers all night long? I get giddy just thinking about it!

~ I wish I had endless amounts of funds so I could indulge my bagel and cream cheese cravings at actual bagel stores because the store bought stuff is just not the same, it just isn't. But I can't justify going to Bagel Me three, sometimes five, times a day just because it's all I can think about eating, every second of every minute of every hour of every day, which I realize is wrong on so many levels but I've come to peace about.

~ I would appreciate my newfound love for coffee to return. It seems as though with the onset of this pregnancy I have lost any taste or desire for coffee, which is such a shame because I was really starting to enjoy it AND one would think it'd be the perfect addition to my daily bagel and cream cheese fix, but no. The thought of it kind of makes my tongue itch. Then I'd have to scratch it, and that'd be weird.

~ I would also appreciate some explanation, which includes a remedy, to the constant disgusting taste in my mouth. I can brush my teeth all day long and chew gum like it's my job, but still I have this nasty, filmy, rubbishy taste in my mouth. What is that about? So gross. I would be a lot more comfortable without that nonsense to worry about. I'm a talker, folks, so yes, bad breath = something to worry about.

~It would be awesome if I could invent some type of clothing that held things (*two in particular) in appropriate places without actually feeling like I'm wearing anything at all. I see the necessity for clothing, I do, especially living with fun friends who stop by periodically, but I'm just saying, if I could forgo the whole feeling of clothes I would jump on that in a heartbeat.

Just a little insight into the true going ons of my heart. It's sad, I know. But these thoughts consume the better portion of my days.

Do you think I could cover my side of the mattress with ice-packs then lay a thin sheet of plastic over them then lay the bed sheet over that? Would that work?

Comments

Carrie P said…
I don't care what everyone else says...you're hilarious. :) Love your comical honesty.
Lolly Caruana said…
i second carrie's comment! you make me laugh, girl! and so sad about the coffee!!! i'm drinking mine right now and looking at the bagel crumbs on my plate!!! have you tried costco's bagels??? they're not bad! love you, my dear preggo friend! :)
Anonymous said…
I have a solution for one of your ponderings...an apron ....they have pockets and protect your clothes from getting crap on them.
Candie said…
after reading your more than adorable post my tongue itches. thanks! ;)
Irun4fun said…
LOL (and I literally did)

I also lost my taste for coffee. Could not drink it during pregnancies.

I knew I was pg when I washed my hair and clumps of hair, literally came out. That's not muy bueno when you don't have a lot to begin with. Ha.

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