Me and Them

I walked into my boys' room and found it a total mess.

SO FRUSTRATING to find the pile of clothes that I just folded sprawled across the floor. I wanted to rant about how they obviously have too much stuff if they can't take care of their things. I held it in though (for the most part) because moments earlier I had walked into my own room and saw this:


I think that's one of the hardest parts of parenting for me, seeing my own flaws in my kids. When they react the way I do, and not in a good way, I cringe. When they make mistakes and they are the same ones I've been making for years and I want to shake us all up and scream GET IT TOGETHER MAN!! But I don't because they're my flaws and my mistakes too.

Recently I had bought into a lie the enemy was telling me that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try with my kids, they will still grow up with issues, and blame me, and secretly think I'm crazy.

I love my parents. I think they did a lovely job raising us kids, but they will be the first ones to tell you they are NOT perfect. It was only because they prayed their little hearts out on our behalf that us kids turned out relatively "normal". And yes, I've had some deep rooted issues, and I could blame them (if I was a pansy who didn't take responsibility for my actions) and even my mom will admit that "everybody has a little crazy in them" (ahem, perhaps even herself at times?? - LOVE YOU MOM!!!) But my parents did a lot of things right. They gave us the chance to mess up, and not be perfect, and forgive us and still love us. And they messed up, and weren't perfect, and we knew how to forgive them, and we still love them.

My prayer is that the Lord will give me the wisdom to see the messes that matter. Also that He will help me sift through the junk and get to the heart of it, in myself and in my kids. Some messes in life must be dealt with, there is no sidestepping heart issues. When my kids grow up and my halo falls off and they see the "little crazy" in me I hope they will see that everyone needs a savior, there are no "except for so and so" or "especially so and so..." EVERYONE.

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