I'm a Super Mom but I'm No Jesus

I laughed out loud when my sweet friend Wendy said this about me, I think it's perfect and very true. She said this in responce to my two most recent outings with the kids, both of which left me exhausted and thinking, "I'm never leaving the house with all three again." For the record, it's 99.9% of the time pretty easy, but whoa, Ikea and Costco got the best of me! The kids were wonderful, at both places (separate days), until a combination of things happened.

1. We stayed past the window of leaving opportunity.
For me and my kids there is a sweet spot when, if timed just right, means we can leave a place quickly, quietly and happily. Happily being the goal. This didn't happen at Ikea because of the crazy maze that Ikea is and when my leaving window opened by the time I found my way out it had slammed shut, threatening to never open again. Leaving in the window didn't happen at Costco either because of unforeseen circumstances that prolonged our stay. ie, two trips to the bathroom (one of which "needed to happen" when I was at the OTHER end of the warehouse, and come on, it's not like it's a little 7/11, you know. We also ran into some friends there which was such a treat, but we chatted for a bit too long, imagine that. Then right at checkout time the cashier told me I needed to renew my card, which I wasn't prepared to pay for at the moment and asked if I could pay it next time to which she answered, No. This almost made me cry, really, I felt the lump in my throat. Troy was screaming on the other side of the checkout counter, which to him might as well been the state of Texas separating us, I had a full cart, and Addison had to go the bathroom again, and the lady was telling me I she couldn't ring me up unless I paid the renewal fee. Thankfully, I was able to pay it and it ended fine, but for a few seconds there I really thought I was going to have to abandon ship and call it a day.

2. We were out past nap time.
Most kids I know take their naps around 1 or 2. Not mine. 12:15-12:30 is their sweet spot. The last couple of days I've tried to push them past that time and it's not good. 1 o'clock rolls around and we're all over-tired.

3. I was hungry. Very hungry. At Ikea I had lunch but maybe because it was eaten while trying to feed Troy, watch B & A and make sure they ate, and attempt to start and complete conversations with my brave friends who had met me there, or maybe it was because I felt like I had walked to Haiti and back by the time I found my way out, but I was famished when I got in the car. At Costco the plan was to eat hotdogs before we went in, but I only had enough cash for two, so the kids gobbled them up and I ate nothing. Holy smokes I was hungry. And the samples were lame, so I didn't even have those to ease the pain. Me and hunger are not friends. Pregnant-Me and hunger are mortal enemies.

The kicker at Ikea was the stupid self-checkout. Enough said.

The kicker at Costco; after I was all rung up and trying to pay, I had to enter my pin number and they had new swiper deals with little tiny covers over half of the key pad, so in all honesty, I could not for the life of me find the number 2. I think my voice may have cracked a little when I turned the machine toward the lady, who was probably a little tired of me, my screaming baby and wandering munchkins, and told her there was no number 2 on her machine. She kindly pointed it out to me and offered some sort of, "oh they're new and everyone's having a time with them". I kindly gathered my herd and offered some sort of, "I'm having a time alright."

I'm a super mom, but I'm no Jesus. I think I'll get a t-shirt made with that on it, or at least a bumper sticker. Or maybe I'll get little business cards that say it and leave them places where the kids and I have been, that might be nice.