Soften Me
I struggle with one of my children who's heart has hardened in some areas. It scares me to see a hardened heart at such a young age! The sin of pride is such a difficult one to uproot and remove, and it breaks my heart to see my little one battling it already. Sometimes the breaking of pride can be very, very painful, and who likes to see their child experience pain?
Isaiah 66:2
"... But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word."
I wish I could make my child tremble at the word of God! Sometimes it can be so frustrating to say the same thing, over and over again, obviously not getting to the root of the problem. It is my tendency to respond with, "Look at all you have! You are so well provided for! You want for nothing, you have no needs, you are lavishly loved, and all I ask in return is that you trust and obey. Why is that so difficult? Why won't you let me lead you?" I have cried over this many times.
Sometimes I take my children's repentance on as if its MY doing, and not the Holy Spirit's.
Romans 2:4 "... God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance"
God's kindness, not my lectures.
And the same day I was talking about this with some friends I went home and read chapter 9 of Nehemiah (Daily Bible Reading) and it was my heart that was softened when I read of how God responded to his chosen people - over and over again.
"But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments. They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck,
~ But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.
Even when they had made for themselves a golden calf and said, 'This is your God who brought you up out of Egypt', and had committed great blasphemies,
~you in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day, nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them the way by which they should go. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst. Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell... So they ate and were filled and became fat and delighted themselves in your great goodness.
Nevertheless, they were disobedient and rebelled against you and cast your law behind their back and killed your prophets, who had warned them in order to turn them back to you, and they committed great blasphemies...
~ And in the time of their suffering they cried out to you and you heard them from heaven, and according to your great mercies you gave them saviors who saved them from the hand of their enemies.
But after they had rest they did evil again before you,
~ Yet when they turned and cried to you, you heard from heaven, and many times you delivered them according to your mercies.
Yet they acted presumptuously and did not obey your commandments, but sinned against your rules, ... and they turned a stubborn shoulder and stiffened their neck and would not obey.
~ Many years you bore with them,
Yet they would not give ear.
~Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.
This encourages me to no end! I need to point out that God didn't show endless mercy only, I edited out all the parts where he punished them for their disobedience, and I'm thinking his punishments were extremely painful. (You should go read the entire chapter so you see the entire picture.) But I want to highlight how hardhearted the Israelites were, turning a stubborn shoulder and stiffening their necks even! And yet time after time God bore with them, leading them in the wilderness, sustaining them with food and water. He was SO faithful, even though they turned away and sinned again, and again, and again. Just like my child, and just like me.
Seeing His mercy played out like this refreshes my resolve to not give up on my dear little one. It also puts me right back under the mercies of God because at the end of the day I am no different that my child; a sinner in desperate need of a Savior.
Isaiah 66:2
"... But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word."
I wish I could make my child tremble at the word of God! Sometimes it can be so frustrating to say the same thing, over and over again, obviously not getting to the root of the problem. It is my tendency to respond with, "Look at all you have! You are so well provided for! You want for nothing, you have no needs, you are lavishly loved, and all I ask in return is that you trust and obey. Why is that so difficult? Why won't you let me lead you?" I have cried over this many times.
Sometimes I take my children's repentance on as if its MY doing, and not the Holy Spirit's.
Romans 2:4 "... God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance"
God's kindness, not my lectures.
And the same day I was talking about this with some friends I went home and read chapter 9 of Nehemiah (Daily Bible Reading) and it was my heart that was softened when I read of how God responded to his chosen people - over and over again.
"But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments. They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck,
~ But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.
Even when they had made for themselves a golden calf and said, 'This is your God who brought you up out of Egypt', and had committed great blasphemies,
~you in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day, nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them the way by which they should go. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst. Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell... So they ate and were filled and became fat and delighted themselves in your great goodness.
Nevertheless, they were disobedient and rebelled against you and cast your law behind their back and killed your prophets, who had warned them in order to turn them back to you, and they committed great blasphemies...
~ And in the time of their suffering they cried out to you and you heard them from heaven, and according to your great mercies you gave them saviors who saved them from the hand of their enemies.
But after they had rest they did evil again before you,
~ Yet when they turned and cried to you, you heard from heaven, and many times you delivered them according to your mercies.
Yet they acted presumptuously and did not obey your commandments, but sinned against your rules, ... and they turned a stubborn shoulder and stiffened their neck and would not obey.
~ Many years you bore with them,
Yet they would not give ear.
~Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.
This encourages me to no end! I need to point out that God didn't show endless mercy only, I edited out all the parts where he punished them for their disobedience, and I'm thinking his punishments were extremely painful. (You should go read the entire chapter so you see the entire picture.) But I want to highlight how hardhearted the Israelites were, turning a stubborn shoulder and stiffening their necks even! And yet time after time God bore with them, leading them in the wilderness, sustaining them with food and water. He was SO faithful, even though they turned away and sinned again, and again, and again. Just like my child, and just like me.
Seeing His mercy played out like this refreshes my resolve to not give up on my dear little one. It also puts me right back under the mercies of God because at the end of the day I am no different that my child; a sinner in desperate need of a Savior.
Comments
Heather
Have you read the book called The Two Sides of Love? It's by Gary Smalley and John Trent, (Christian authors and they offer Biblical references). From the sounds of your post, this book might be helpful in gaining some insight. It was inspirational for me on many levels, in many relationships.
Sheila