Breaking the Addiction

I had to do it. I had to break the habit little Addison had developed. It was totally an addiction, her waking up at 4 am, because I didn't think it was really a problem for the first, oh, 6 weeks. She could stop at anytime, I thought. Or rather, I could stop going to her at anytime. I was in denial, and you know that's the first sign of addiction. But over the weekend in Simi, granted we were out of her comfort zone, she was waking at 11pm AND 4am. NO THANK YOU. I had dished out enough sleeping admonishing to know it was time for me to heed my own advice. As precious as this tiny baby girl is, and man she's precious, I have plenty of time to shmoodle over her in day light hours. (Yes I made up that word.) Sunday night I said NO MORE! Luckily the layout of our house helped me with this break. Our bedroom is on one side and the kiddos rooms are on the other side. So, when 4am approached and I heard my sweet baby girl's cry for her early morning fix I flipped the switch and turned off the monitor. Silence filled the room and I fell right back to sleep. When I woke up 2 hours later to find a peacefully sleeping baby I felt a little guilty. How long had she cried? Should I have stood outside her bedroom door and waited it out until she stopped? The next night, Tuesday morning really, I decided to leave the monitor on just to see how long she was really crying for. 4am arrived and she cried for 8 minutes. 8 minutes! That's it? I wondered if she'd have always cried for just a few minutes had I let her 'cry it out' months ago. She woke up again this morning, Wednesday, same time, and I turned the monitor off. Still feeling a twinge of guilt about not being there for her, I have to remind myself she's just a recovering addict, and really, so am I.

Here's to a wake-less night!