Oh the Bliss!

This afternoon I had the opportunity to sit in a pretty fantastic, resort-like spa with some gal pals, uninterrupted for over an hour, with no children present. It's beautiful for so many reasons: 1. I was not splashed in the face, not even once. 2. I didn't have to hold my bathing suit up with one hand due to a clinging, grabbing, half drowning Mia. 3. I started, and completed, entire conversations. Whole and complete conversations people! 4. I wasn't constantly counting heads, or saving lives. The two go hand in hand. 5. There was no fear of a floater, and I'm not talking about a child if you know what I mean... This hasn't happened in, I don't know, 6.75 years. And if THAT'S not a blog worthy moment I don't know what is. :)

I'll take that table, the one with the cops. This guy is quiet, what's his deal? Quiet but cute. Those eyes! So I met this police officer the other night at the diner... He came back! Here's my number. He called. Who knew such a quiet guy could talk until the sun comes up? Driving home from Jason's soccer game, Wahoo's? Sure! Is that the sunrise? We talked the night away again. A real first date, happy birthday. Luciana's... you're dating me with the intent to marry. Mr. Lufrano says I'm "the One". How was breakfast with my dad? Walk on the cliffs after church. You're down on one knee. Yes! Of course yes. Always... You're at the end of the aisle waiting for me. I do. Always... Flying Cloud. A puppy! A kitten! We move, we move, we build a house, IT'S A BOY!, we move, IT'S A GIRL!, IT'S A BOY!, new company, IT'S A GIRL!, we move, cut a job, we move. We love. Always. Always.

Not all days will be like this, I get that. But boy, do I LOVE it when homeschooling looks like this and this and this and even this. When we listen to Mozart and pick apart Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf, and we break for painting and Bible and poetry and homemade applesauce. And each child works well and plays well independantly, allowing me to focus on one kids at a time. Multiple times this morning I looked around and thought, "Are you kidding me Lord?? This is SO not my doing, You have given me the best job in the world!" Of course, last week I was laying in the couch when Mark came home from work, crying, "I don't want to be a mom who puts her kids in preschool because she can't stand them!" but that was totally how I felt. I was tired and easily irritated and everything I had planned had gone differently than what I so beautifully painted in my mind. This morning I prayed for my homeschooling friends who, my like myself, can feel overwhelme...

At 19 months you have lots of words, your first very clear words were No!, Stop!, and Don't!... I wonder why...:-) You call your blanket "ganket" and your water "ahdoo". You call all of us by our names, Mommy, Daddy, Addie or Ad, Bubba (ben) and Tutu (Troy). You get yourself a bowl when you want a snack and you're pretty good at getting your own snack too - although you rarely eat all of whatever it is you grabbed (usually a bar). You're most hilarious and giddy around 7pm, which is kind of unfortunate because that's your bedtime, but if you stay up later you don't really get crabby, just silly. You love babies!! You love to talk on the phone with Nana, and ask to at least twice a day. You love dogs (goggies) and birds (tweet-tweets) and horses ( MEEEEEeeeeeee!). And you love shoes, especially other people's shoes. When we are at the beach you are most happiest walking up and down the shore trying on (and stealing) other people's flip flo...

Three wise men were carrying heavy loads while on their way to visit the King. They had been traveling a long time, and were tired, but they were anxious to be the first ones there, so they pressed on. One wise man carried a large satchel, the largest I've ever seen. The leather strap of the bag dug into his shoulder and the weight of the contents burdened one side of his body so greatly that he walked with a limp. The satchel itself dragged alongside the man as if filled with boulders, digging a trail in the path behind the traveler. The wise man made a great show of his walk; step, drag, step, drag, umphing and huffing down the road. The second wise man walked hunched over, bending under the great weight of his load as well. Across his back a canvas draped, mountainous object was held in place with giant chains criss crossing his chest again and again. They clinked and clunked together as he walked, rhythmically in time, one heavy step after the next. The wise man did nothing to...

I tell you what, after a FULL day of pulling stuff out of nooks and crannies and corners and shelves and boxes (that haven't been opened in three moves) I am feeling good! We can actually park one car in our (two car) garage, it's amazing! I tried to evaluate what I consider precious, and for what reason, and after it was all said and done, after HUGE amounts of stuff were set out on our curb for Salvation Army (or whomever so desires) one thing became very clear to me - I am a sucker for monograming. What in the world? I had no problem putting sweet little shoes and tiny little newborn socks into the bag, but, Lord help me, if it had an A for Addie anywhere on it I held onto it for dear life! Burp cloths. Who keeps burp clothes? They clean up our baby's snot and semi-digested puke. But slap TROY across the bottom in a cute font with a ribbon and there is NO WAY I can part with such a dear thing. A tattered cloth tote, worn at the seams with holes in the corners, obv...

I dress them in swimsuits. Slather on the sunscreen. Pack snacks, towels and a changed of clothes. Head to fountains at the Spectrum and.... NOTHING. They want nothing to do with the water. BUT Go at 7pm when they should be well on their way to bed, to run into Target, where the fountain happens to be strategically placed in front of, with no swimsuits, no towel or change of clothes, not even a napkin to dry off with, and BAM they swarm the fountain like they're going on a ride at Disneyland! Every fiber of being told me it was going to end badly. I saw them eyeing it, I saw them tip-toeing over, I saw them look back at me for approval aaaaaand I could not resist! Before they got too carried away I informed them that it was gong to be an ugly ending. They were going to be cold and wet and miserable and they wouldn't be allowed to complain because I told them it was going to happen. (Like when they receive a balloon and I make them recite, "This balloon wil...

"Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered..." I wish I had read this at the beginning of my day instead of right now... I wonder if my disgusting and horribly ugly attitude toward my children would've been any different had I been giving "thanks to the Lord and calling upon his name"? Multiple times today I was the one who was out of line. I was the one who was yelling and throwing a tantrum. I was not "telling of all his wondrous works" in the least bit. I did not seek the Lord and his strength, nor his presence continually. I sought my chocolate chips cookies and rejoiced in bedtime. And now I'm ...

I almost didn't go to church this weekend because I didn't feel pretty. There are so many things wrong with that statement I don't even know where to begin! Mark had to be there early so he was already gone, the kids were fed, dressed and ready to go, and there I was in the bathroom washing and plucking and brushing and powdering and painting my face all so that ... so that what? I could be more acceptable to God? So that I could apply the sermon more accurately or worship more beautifully? No. What it was, really, was me trying to make it look like I hadn't spent the day deep cleaning bedrooms and folding 6 loads of laundry. It was me thinking about what I wore the previous week to make sure I didn't wear it again. And there I was, making my family late, and contemplating not even going because I didn't feel pretty. I recognized the sin of vanity right away and marched myself to church, but I'm still so bothered that my solution to my "problem...

(For my memory...) Near the end of Toy Story 3 there's a scene where Woody, Buzz and all of Andy's toys are falling down a huge garbage pit into an incinerator. The kids were watching that movie today and I was off doing dishes when I hear Addison yelling at the computer screen, "PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD! PUT YOUR FAITH IN JESUS! HURRY! PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD!" I ran over wondering what on earth she was doing and she told me, "All the toys are going down to hell so I'm telling them to put their faith in God so they can be saved." People say that children don't "get it" when it comes to being a Christian. They say they are too young to fully understand the implications of being a follower of Christ. I might agree, to some extent. But I live with Addison Sarah Fitzpatrick, and I think Jesus had her pictured in his mind when he talked about childlike faith. He had to have been thinking about Addie when he told the disciples to back off an...

Ben had a little academic assessment before starting Kindergarden and it was pointed out that he didn't stay inside the lines very well when coloring and I almost said "Thank you!" but then realized they saw this as not such a great thing. I guess years of me telling him that if he wanted to extend the landscape of his imagination beyond the bold black boundary lines in his coloring book he could because he was the artist and it was his masterpiece wasn't the quite the training they were looking for. (Side note: I have since learned to appreciate the lines in coloring books as good tools for teaching self control and following directions. There are blessings in obedience, even in coloring books!) Another reason why I'm thankful to have Ben home two days a week during the school year; we can be as creative and "boundary-less" as we want with our art. I've always wanted to be an artist, but have never dedicated any substantial time to tapping into t...

It's gonna break his heart one day when he figures out the implications of the word "COUSINS".

It is no surprise that I have to fight to get face time with each of my children, or rather they have to fight to get face time with me. Sometimes it's 6pm and I'll grab a face between my hands and say, "Have I even SEEN you today?" Isn't that sad? I look at my kids all day long. I look at them when I'm helping them pull a shirt over their head, or buckling a bike helmet. I look at them around the dinner table and when I tuck the blankets under their chins bedtime. But do I really see them? It is a conscious decision for me to stop whatever it is I'm doing and turn to my child to answer their question - after I've let them complete the question - while looking them straight in the face, really seeing them. When Ben had his moral interview for his school, over a year ago, one of the habits he showed was this: He fully listened to the questions they asked, and answered them spot on, but kept his eyes on other things, almost like he was too busy to stop ...

We like to have a chapter book to read to the kids before bedtime. We've done the first three books in the Narnia series, then The Jesus Storybook Bible (which we adored and still read often) and just recently I picked up this little beauty from our church's bookstore, Dangerous Journey: The Story of Pilgrim's Progress. Loving it, loving it! I read Pilgrim's Progress in Jr.High and really enjoyed it, and this version stays true to the original by John Buynan, but in a more concise form. It doesn't shy away from the evil of this world but also beautifully illustrates the (eventual) victory Christians have over evil through Christ our Savior. And did I mention the pictures are gorgeous? They are. If you're looking for something a little heavier to read with your kids, and they love action and adventure stories with a Biblical theme, then pick then check this book out. PS. Compass Bible Church sells the book for a dollar less than Amazon, if you're in the Al...

I talk too much. I defend myself when I should be humble. I'm a one-upper, especially when it comes to talking about my kids. I think about what I'm going to say next while barely listening to the person who is still talking. I talk a lot about things I want to do and then do hardly any of them. I misrepresent my God, which is heartbreaking and scary. I hurt people's feelings. I comment on facebook and blogs like it's my job, no really, like it's my duty to put my two cents worth in, like I'm doing people a great service. I'm kinda grossed out by the amount of ME I put out there. It's not about me. It's about Christ, period. And when I talk and talk and talk I take that focus away, and kind of borrow his glory for a moment, and it has got to stop. Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Isaiah 32:17 And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust f...

"34% OF CHRISTIAN FAMILIES CONSIDER ADOPTING & ONLY 1 % OF CHRISTIAN FAMILIES ACTUALLY DO." (Sarah's reasons) Why we haven't adopted: 1. I'm afraid of what our families will think, say behind my back, or say to my face. And that they'll treat our child differently. 2. Money, or the lack thereof. 3. I'm afraid of feeling isolated as a mother, or like my friends won't feel like they relate so they'll disengage even more (having "a handful" of kids has produced this to some degree already). 4. Am I just being trendy? 5. How does a different ethnicity, adopted child feel in a family full of whites, in a city, county and state full of white people? How will that play out when that child is an adult? Why we will: Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. I John 3:18 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and...

When I first met one of my nearest and dearest friends, Lolly, I very quickly noticed the way she talked about, and talked to, Jesus - all. the. time. I think pretty much anyone who has met her has noticed this sweet little truth about her, she talks like he is her best friend, because he is. Many, many times I would be hanging with her and she'd just start talking with the Lord like He's sitting right there with us. I think she'd say, "And why not? He is, isn't he?" I loved this about Lol. So I started doing it too. And the more I talked with Jesus the more I realized he's not a "One bff" kind of guy, and he became my best friend too. Jesus and I talk all the time, all day long, into the night. We talk a lot because I am a lousy mommy on my own, but with a constant spirit of prayer I get to pull from God's love and strength. It is painfully obvious when I am acting of my own accord. I pray out loud so frequently that my kids will sometimes d...

This girl is no different than my other fearless fish. Loving lots of swim time this summer!

Mark and I got away for the night last weekend! It was SO refreshing to just be with him. No agenda, except the fantastic wedding we made it to late Saturday afternoon. We ate when we wanted, what we wanted (without sharing with anyone!) and just breathed and talked and relaxed. I was giddy the entire time. (Thank you to my stellar mom-in-law and Nonny who loved on our kids and kept them alive for 36+ hours!!) We toured Stone Brewery . I've never toured a brewery before, so it was really interesting. The architecture was probably my favorite part. You can guess what Mark's favorite part was... If you're ever in the San Marcos/Escondido area check it out. Free tours + free beer = nice kick off to our get away. :-) Plus they serve their ( locally roasted ) coffee in a french press. Hello! That was awesome. The next morning we ate breakfast at a hole-in-the-wall cafe in old town Carlsbad, it was perfection. I'm so happy that my parents raised me to love and appreciate t...

B- "Mom, I need to save my money for ten more years." Me- "Why ten years?" B- "Because then I'll be 16 and can drive and can buy a Corvette." See why a day without luxuries might do us some good?