With A Little Help From my Friends

(Feel free to sing that title too...)



This is written on the side of an Epsom salt can. I don't know whether I think it's true or just sad. Maybe both.

I've recently hit a stage in my pregnancy, which I saw coming months ago, where everything hurts. You name it, if it's on my body, at some point in the day it will feel one (or all) of these things:

achy
sore
throbbing
pulled
strained
tender
swollen
sensitive
tight
irritated
cricked
stiff
annoying

Thankfully, these things don't happen to all body parts all at same time. In order to properly combat these potential downers I've developed a nightly "routine", that helps me relax. First I light yummy smelling candles, then I run a nice hot bath (and I drink a glass of wine too, oh no, call the pregnancy police!) with handfuls of Epsom salts in it, I listen to relaxing music or a sermon and spend time praying. Then I have a shelf of lotions, butters, ointments, creams, scrubs and oils I apply to my belly, feet, arms, neck, elbows, and various other parts. It's heavenly. I've come to really enjoy this time of night, and have even left company in our living room to participate in my ritual. (Ok, it was the Wilson's and the Snell's, and they lost the "company" title a long time ago. Sorry friends)

I'm feeling most anxious about the actual birth of this baby. The memories (or my memories, I should say) of Troy's quick and intense birth are still fresh in my mind. The feelings I felt of being out of control, animalistic even, having a sore throat from screaming - yes screaming - and in SO MUCH PAIN are very real. I'm very much, and uncharacteristically, struggling with giving these fears and anxiety over to the Lord, only to take them back again whenever I envision this baby's birth. I'm not a worrier. I'm not an anxious person, so this truly is a battle for me. (Yikes, this post started out so lighthearted and has taken a very personal and candid turn, didn't see that coming. Be gentle friends.) Many people ask if I'm ready or if I'm excited and I answer yes, I am. Don't I have to be? I mean what if I said no, I'm not ready, and I'm really not excited, what would their response to that be? What would your response be?

Let me make it known, that I really truly am SO excited to have another baby. I really can't wait for that part. It's only the hour, hour and a half leading up to that baby that I'm most definitely NOT ready for and NOT excited about. So pray for that part. Pray for those moments when no amount of hot water, candles, shots of whiskey (what? Who said that?), lotions or rubs can take away the pain. Pray.