With A Little Help From my Friends

(Feel free to sing that title too...)



This is written on the side of an Epsom salt can. I don't know whether I think it's true or just sad. Maybe both.

I've recently hit a stage in my pregnancy, which I saw coming months ago, where everything hurts. You name it, if it's on my body, at some point in the day it will feel one (or all) of these things:

achy
sore
throbbing
pulled
strained
tender
swollen
sensitive
tight
irritated
cricked
stiff
annoying

Thankfully, these things don't happen to all body parts all at same time. In order to properly combat these potential downers I've developed a nightly "routine", that helps me relax. First I light yummy smelling candles, then I run a nice hot bath (and I drink a glass of wine too, oh no, call the pregnancy police!) with handfuls of Epsom salts in it, I listen to relaxing music or a sermon and spend time praying. Then I have a shelf of lotions, butters, ointments, creams, scrubs and oils I apply to my belly, feet, arms, neck, elbows, and various other parts. It's heavenly. I've come to really enjoy this time of night, and have even left company in our living room to participate in my ritual. (Ok, it was the Wilson's and the Snell's, and they lost the "company" title a long time ago. Sorry friends)

I'm feeling most anxious about the actual birth of this baby. The memories (or my memories, I should say) of Troy's quick and intense birth are still fresh in my mind. The feelings I felt of being out of control, animalistic even, having a sore throat from screaming - yes screaming - and in SO MUCH PAIN are very real. I'm very much, and uncharacteristically, struggling with giving these fears and anxiety over to the Lord, only to take them back again whenever I envision this baby's birth. I'm not a worrier. I'm not an anxious person, so this truly is a battle for me. (Yikes, this post started out so lighthearted and has taken a very personal and candid turn, didn't see that coming. Be gentle friends.) Many people ask if I'm ready or if I'm excited and I answer yes, I am. Don't I have to be? I mean what if I said no, I'm not ready, and I'm really not excited, what would their response to that be? What would your response be?

Let me make it known, that I really truly am SO excited to have another baby. I really can't wait for that part. It's only the hour, hour and a half leading up to that baby that I'm most definitely NOT ready for and NOT excited about. So pray for that part. Pray for those moments when no amount of hot water, candles, shots of whiskey (what? Who said that?), lotions or rubs can take away the pain. Pray.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sounds like you are preparing your mind, body, and soul.
Love you, mom
3:18 PM
Kaci Mae said…
Uh...your description of Troy's birth just made me feel better about myself because that's how I was with Annie! Sore throat and everything! Just remember how much you have learned and how even if this baby comes hard and fast, you know how quick it can be over! I feel for you, yet know you are going to make it and it won't be long before you'll enjoy not being PREGNANT anymore!
3:34 PM
Jessica said…
Praying for you Sarah!
3:51 PM
Julie Snell said…
Sarah...you can ditch me in the living room to go pamper yourself anf your belly any time :) I am praying for no sore throats this time around. I am praying that the people at the hospital let you guide them on how you are feeling and pregressing as well as using their expertise and God's hand to make cuatro's birth a blessed and memorable in a good way hour to hour and a half time :) xoxo
4:06 PM
Anonymous said…
Thanks for sharing your heart, Sarah. We will definitely keep you in our prayers. You will be amazing!

--Beth Shank
10:29 PM
Anonymous said…
Friend I am praying for you and baby. You are so right that it's a nice thought to give those fears over to God but then when you think about troy's birth get anxious for this birth. I'm glad that you are taking time to relax epsom salt baths are my favorite! I think i'll take one tonight. :) I bought something for Cuatro and I can't wait to give it to you!!
7:02 PM
linsey said…
I remember thinking, the days leading up to the birth of my boys, that, I am going to be in so much pain...soon, today maybe! Will you hate me if I say the harder you fight it and scream the more it hurts? Stick to the silly animalistic groans. Seriously. I scoffed at my midwife's assistant who would do them while I was in labor and before I knew it I was mimicing her and feeling it in a good way! And please GIVE IT TO HIM! GIVE IT AWAY TO GOD!!! Holy crap, he wants it! I will be praying for a swift and sweet delivery for you and baby 4! And in the end you get a squishy,yummy-smelling babe! FUN!!!
7:17 PM
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