4/12/06
John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you. Not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid."
This verse was written on my heart at a very young age. One of my best memories of my mom is the many times she would comfort me if I had a nightmare by reading this verse to me. Many times she would quote it if I was afraid while my dad was out of town. It was "her" verse, and it quickly became mine too.
If I look at the patterns of my life it is easy to see the times that I felt the most alone were the times I was trusting the world for security, acceptance and peace. Though this verse is embedded in me, somehow I would slip back into the comfortable "patterns of this world" and forget that the peace that Christ offers is not what the world offers. His peace is not granted because of popularity or prosperity. It's freely given because I am His child.
By this point in my life the enemy was well aware of my weaknesses. He knew I was a sucker for acceptance and if I was feeling lonely the only thing he had to do was send somebody "cool" my way to make me feel good about myself again. Just after Mark and I were married and I had made all of these changes I desperately needed to feel "cool" and found solace in some new friends at work. They, like my all my friends of this world, were not bad people. But they were in a different place in life, one I had just gotten out of. So to be newly married and hanging out with girls, and guys, that were single and took every opportunity to meet/flirt/date everyone in sight I was very much in a compromising situation. My heart was very troubled and I felt no peace.
Mark, and many others, were praying strongly for me to find joy -not happiness- in being a married woman and a follower of Christ. By the grace of God I met a girl at my new church, who just walked right up to me and started talking -my kind of girl. Marie became a physical form of God's peace to me. She would hang out with me while Mark worked late nights so that I wasn't lonely. Even though she wasn't married, she put great value on my marriage and never wanted to go anywhere or do anything that would put me in a shady situation. She encouraged me, laughed and cried with me and became a true friend, and still is, and I count her as one of the greatest blessings God has ever given me, and I think Mark might too.
From childhood John 14:27 taught me that this world offers a fake peace, nothing real. Nothing that will replace fear with safety or troubles with calm. I can honestly say that after meeting Marie and discovering the value of a friendship built on Christ and bringing this verse to the forefront of my mind at all times, I have never felt a loneliness, a lack of peace or doubt since. I'm not saying I never will again, but is that a possibility? That I never will again? Absolutely.
The next couple of years were years of growth and seeking God's will for my life. Verse #5 is one of my favorites...
This verse was written on my heart at a very young age. One of my best memories of my mom is the many times she would comfort me if I had a nightmare by reading this verse to me. Many times she would quote it if I was afraid while my dad was out of town. It was "her" verse, and it quickly became mine too.
If I look at the patterns of my life it is easy to see the times that I felt the most alone were the times I was trusting the world for security, acceptance and peace. Though this verse is embedded in me, somehow I would slip back into the comfortable "patterns of this world" and forget that the peace that Christ offers is not what the world offers. His peace is not granted because of popularity or prosperity. It's freely given because I am His child.
By this point in my life the enemy was well aware of my weaknesses. He knew I was a sucker for acceptance and if I was feeling lonely the only thing he had to do was send somebody "cool" my way to make me feel good about myself again. Just after Mark and I were married and I had made all of these changes I desperately needed to feel "cool" and found solace in some new friends at work. They, like my all my friends of this world, were not bad people. But they were in a different place in life, one I had just gotten out of. So to be newly married and hanging out with girls, and guys, that were single and took every opportunity to meet/flirt/date everyone in sight I was very much in a compromising situation. My heart was very troubled and I felt no peace.
Mark, and many others, were praying strongly for me to find joy -not happiness- in being a married woman and a follower of Christ. By the grace of God I met a girl at my new church, who just walked right up to me and started talking -my kind of girl. Marie became a physical form of God's peace to me. She would hang out with me while Mark worked late nights so that I wasn't lonely. Even though she wasn't married, she put great value on my marriage and never wanted to go anywhere or do anything that would put me in a shady situation. She encouraged me, laughed and cried with me and became a true friend, and still is, and I count her as one of the greatest blessings God has ever given me, and I think Mark might too.
From childhood John 14:27 taught me that this world offers a fake peace, nothing real. Nothing that will replace fear with safety or troubles with calm. I can honestly say that after meeting Marie and discovering the value of a friendship built on Christ and bringing this verse to the forefront of my mind at all times, I have never felt a loneliness, a lack of peace or doubt since. I'm not saying I never will again, but is that a possibility? That I never will again? Absolutely.
The next couple of years were years of growth and seeking God's will for my life. Verse #5 is one of my favorites...
(to be continued...)
Today I am so thankful for...
1. my new friend Loly coming over with her kids, Hannah and John, to have lunch and play with me and Ben.
2. the spring/summer like weather we had! It was beautiful and we had a blast playing in the backyard for hours!
3. Ben eating a really good dinner. I think he had something from every food group, and that's pretty darn good.
4. my computer working right now so I could post this blog.
5. seeing Darren last night!! It was a one night only visit and I couldn't pass up seeing my biggest brother. He and Pam are in a cool place right now in their ministry and plans for the future. I'm excited to see what the next couple of years bring them.
6. finding out that my dear friend Taylore is expecting a BOY in September!! That will be very fun for her.
7. the time Mark spent with me over the past three days. It filled my love tank.
8. this week before Easter. I'm reading "The Case for Easter" by Lee Strobel and it is a fantastic book.
9. Kelly's sweet and understanding nature. I really appreciate her.
10. being able to see patterns in my life where I've lost sight of my maker, but also being able to see that He never lost sight of me.
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