2/23/06
One of the things I love most about Mark is his love for his mother. I've never seen him treat her poorly, he talks openly with her and respects her. They joke with each other and tease each other (in love, of course) and he has never said one negative thing about her to me - or to anyone else for that matter. A favorite aspect of their relationship for me is the way Tina loves Mark. I know that by the way she talks to him and about him she loves him so much. He's her little boy; it is a very special bond that they have. As strong as that bond is, however, Tina has NEVER made me feel anything less than Mark's #1 woman. From the very beginning she would call me to make plans, to tell Mark things, to just chat for a bit. She includes me in every family event, whether or not Mark will be there. Above all of the amazing things she does is probably one of the most meaningful things a mother-in-law can do, she lets me be his wife. She doesn't butt in, she doesn't take his side (if there is ever a side to choose) she doesn't talk me down to him or try and keep him closer to her than to me. I say all of these things because I know of many ladies who really struggle for attention from their husbands because their mother-in-laws can't let go. I feel empowered as a wife after I've talked to or spent time with my mother-in-law.
I remember calling Tina shortly after Ben was born and crying on the phone to her saying something along these lines...
"I get it now, how much you love him (Mark). How did you let him go? Was it so painful to see him walk down the isle with me? I really love him so much, probably not as much as you, his mother, does, but enough to keep him happy for the rest of his life, thank you for sharing him with me, I know now how hard it must be for you to see him with me..."On and on I went.
My feelings behind this phone call stemmed from me realizing how strong and deep a mother's love is. How it must break a mom's heart to see their little boy need and want someone other than themselves! After I blubbered for a bit longer, Tina broke in with something like,
"No, it wasn't hard, not like you're thinking. He was born for this, for you. Just like I cleave to Paul and Paul cleaves to me, Mark cleaves to you and Benjamin will cleave to someone else down the road. That's my job as a mother, and your job as a mother; to have our sons grow up and be independent, loving husbands to their wives."
The concept still pulls my heart strings a little bit, how can I ever let Ben go? But Tina's words also echo in my heart, and I know my role is to love Ben so much that he'll know how to love his wife, how Mark loves me.
Before this gets to be an epic entry, I'll sum up with this:
One way Tina lovingly still dotes on Mark is every year when his birthday rolls around she wants to give him a GREAT gift. As we can all recall from this past Christmas, giving Mark a gift, let alone a GREAT one, is feat in itself. But every year its her way of saying, "I gave birth to you, my pride and joy, and I want to show you that this day is meaningful to me. This is the day I met you, my son." A few weeks ago she asked me if there was anything she and Paul could give him, "not patio furniture or anything for the house" were her exact words. I was clueless. I asked Mark and for a couple of weeks he didn't know either. Until yesterday. Tina had offered to come to our house and help with the move either today by herself, or tomorrow (Friday) with Paul. Mark decided that all he wanted for his birthday was to have her come BOTH days. (She was just here on Sunday, too) Driving all the way from Simi Valley, a good 1 hour and half away with no traffic. Of all the tangible things he could have asked for, new shoes, a suit, some sort of gun paraphernalia, a pony, almost anything and they would've given it to him, but all he wanted was his mom.
And so, at 7:06 this morning, Mark and I woke up to running water in the kitchen. Tina had left her house at 5:30am, let herself in with her key, so not to wake us, and had been cleaning our kitchen for a solid ten minutes.
And she'll be here again tomorrow.
Today I am thankful for...
1. a mother's love for her son.
2. being treated with love and respect and value by my in-laws.
3. Tina's dedication to her kids, including Todd and me.
4. Paul's very visible love and honor for Tina, which probably has a huge impact on the way Mark loves and honors me.
5. the incredible amount of help Tina was today.
6. the AWESOME breakfast my table made for MOPS today. 9 girls, all with one or two little kids, bringing breakfast for nearly 150 women, that's a lot of work!
7. the conversations at MOPS today, I love my table of ladies.
8. my trip to the library with Ben. We both had fun and it felt good to get out of the house for a bit with him (seeing as how 90% of his toys are in boxes).
9. Mark's dedication to the NBPD.
10. Joe's homemade meatballs that he brought over for us. They're the best he's ever made and I'm thankful he lets us be his taste-testers. :)
I remember calling Tina shortly after Ben was born and crying on the phone to her saying something along these lines...
"I get it now, how much you love him (Mark). How did you let him go? Was it so painful to see him walk down the isle with me? I really love him so much, probably not as much as you, his mother, does, but enough to keep him happy for the rest of his life, thank you for sharing him with me, I know now how hard it must be for you to see him with me..."On and on I went.
My feelings behind this phone call stemmed from me realizing how strong and deep a mother's love is. How it must break a mom's heart to see their little boy need and want someone other than themselves! After I blubbered for a bit longer, Tina broke in with something like,
"No, it wasn't hard, not like you're thinking. He was born for this, for you. Just like I cleave to Paul and Paul cleaves to me, Mark cleaves to you and Benjamin will cleave to someone else down the road. That's my job as a mother, and your job as a mother; to have our sons grow up and be independent, loving husbands to their wives."
The concept still pulls my heart strings a little bit, how can I ever let Ben go? But Tina's words also echo in my heart, and I know my role is to love Ben so much that he'll know how to love his wife, how Mark loves me.
Before this gets to be an epic entry, I'll sum up with this:
One way Tina lovingly still dotes on Mark is every year when his birthday rolls around she wants to give him a GREAT gift. As we can all recall from this past Christmas, giving Mark a gift, let alone a GREAT one, is feat in itself. But every year its her way of saying, "I gave birth to you, my pride and joy, and I want to show you that this day is meaningful to me. This is the day I met you, my son." A few weeks ago she asked me if there was anything she and Paul could give him, "not patio furniture or anything for the house" were her exact words. I was clueless. I asked Mark and for a couple of weeks he didn't know either. Until yesterday. Tina had offered to come to our house and help with the move either today by herself, or tomorrow (Friday) with Paul. Mark decided that all he wanted for his birthday was to have her come BOTH days. (She was just here on Sunday, too) Driving all the way from Simi Valley, a good 1 hour and half away with no traffic. Of all the tangible things he could have asked for, new shoes, a suit, some sort of gun paraphernalia, a pony, almost anything and they would've given it to him, but all he wanted was his mom.
And so, at 7:06 this morning, Mark and I woke up to running water in the kitchen. Tina had left her house at 5:30am, let herself in with her key, so not to wake us, and had been cleaning our kitchen for a solid ten minutes.
And she'll be here again tomorrow.
Today I am thankful for...
1. a mother's love for her son.
2. being treated with love and respect and value by my in-laws.
3. Tina's dedication to her kids, including Todd and me.
4. Paul's very visible love and honor for Tina, which probably has a huge impact on the way Mark loves and honors me.
5. the incredible amount of help Tina was today.
6. the AWESOME breakfast my table made for MOPS today. 9 girls, all with one or two little kids, bringing breakfast for nearly 150 women, that's a lot of work!
7. the conversations at MOPS today, I love my table of ladies.
8. my trip to the library with Ben. We both had fun and it felt good to get out of the house for a bit with him (seeing as how 90% of his toys are in boxes).
9. Mark's dedication to the NBPD.
10. Joe's homemade meatballs that he brought over for us. They're the best he's ever made and I'm thankful he lets us be his taste-testers. :)
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