A Story First...
For those of you who check this post and count on the minute and a half it takes to read it then I want to warn you that this may be a little long for your liking. You're welcome to skip the story and go straight for "the list" and perhaps come back later in your day if you'd like to. Or not, you know, I really wouln't have any clue, so feel free to make yourselves comfortable or anything else you'd like to do. That's the beauty of these things (blogs); they will always be here, whether or not anybody reads them.
I've been debating for a few days now whether or not to tell this story. No one has heard it yet, except for one, and it's kind of a risk on my part to share it. I hesitate, not because I'm shy or anything, we all know THAT isn't true, but because it's not the type of story told very often. And with good reason; it may look like I'm fishing for compliments. A few "good for you's" or "way to go's". But I'm not, really, that's not why I'm telling you this. I'm telling you this for one reason, and one reason only; I want you to know that you can do what I did, it's that easy. In fact, in the little comment box, which I love by the way, I'd love to see a bunch of comments from all of you saying that you are going to do it too. No "well done's" or "good story's". Just a promise that you'll do the same thing. Because you can.
So, what's all the build up for, (purely dramatic affect) what did I do?
I made eye contact.
What? That's it? We make eye contact everyday!
No, this was different. This had a purpose. This was ordained by God.
Let me back up a little bit, give some history. Darren, my brother, stayed the weekend at my house. (You'll remember that from my thankful list.) He has an amazing ministry up in San Francisco where he and Pam and a team of people look after and out for the poor, the homeless, the marginalized. I've felt comfortable with those kinds of people, I always have, but within the last four or five years I feel like I've been out of practice. Throughout Jr. High and High school I regularly spent weekends in downtown LA. I'd go with my church, we'd cook breakfast in the park or take a homeless guy out to lunch. I think it's true that younger folks have no fear. I was never afraid while approaching someone laying on the sidewalk. It never made much sense to me why they were there in the first place, but that's a whole different blog, I think. Then I grew up, and so did my fears and all of the sudden I felt uncomfortable around the poor. Where I used to offer hugs, I began to find it hard to even look at them. I stopped going to that church, stopped going to LA and stopped having an active part in showing Christ's love to a very unloved and unreached people. Why is it that we'll travel around the world to share the love and joy of Jesus when an entire nation of people, starving on many different levels, live in the next city over? (Or next block, or next street...?)
This brings me back to last weekend, with Darren. He had just come from staying a few nights in Golden Gate Park with a few of his interns. They slept in the park, in 32 degree weather, spare changed, tried to get -then stay - warm and basically lived the life of a transient. While he was staying with me I asked him about his time in the park. I asked him a question I'm sure he's heard a thousand times from well-intentioned but scared suburbians, "what should I do when I see those guys standing at freeway off-ramps or in the middle of intersections?" (Cause, you know, none of us want to give them money because they're just going to use it to buy booze. And we wouldn't want to roll down our window anyway, because what if they have a gun? Right? That's not uncompassionate, that's logical. And I have a family to think about and I'm busy and I have dinner on the stove and I don't carry cash and I don't want to feel like I have to give everytime I see him and ... do I need to go on?) Darren said something along the lines of " just look at them. Make eye contact. After so many people look away, pretending they aren't there, it's easy for them to start to believe that they truly are invisible. Sometimes the best thing you can do is look at them."
So I did.
There's a man that stands in the middle of the cross walk on Adams and Brookhurst a few streets down from my house. I've passed by him so many times, looking away no doubt. On Tuesday I was running errands and I had a lot to do. I saw the green light turn to yellow as I approached the intersection and I had to stop at the red. Right in front of the man. I remembered what Darren said, so I looked at him.
And he looked at me.
As I looked in his eyes it was if a veil of social prejudices was lifted and I saw him as the man God made him. A simple human being with a story and a soul.
He carried a sign that read "Homeless. Can you help? Yes, you CAN." I kept looking at him and I prayed to myself, "Lord, what does he need?" The light turned green and I kid you not my car made a U-turn without so much as a thought from me. I drove home thinking, "what am I doing? What do I have that this guy would want?"
I got home, parked my van, ran into the house and I honestly believe the Holy Spirit was guiding me because I don't remember thinking about any of this. I ran into my kitchen and pulled out food I knew would last a few days but didn't need preparing. Bread, cheese, carrots, apples, fruit bars, a danish and bottles of water and sunscreen, too. I put it all in a plastic bag, but that seemed so impersonal. I found a Christmas bag, but then I pictured the man having to carry around a Christmas bag full of food. That didn't sit well with me.
What does he need?
I remembered a brand new big messenger shoulder bag I had only used one time. I hadn't seen it in over a year, but I was led right to it. I put the plastic bag in the Christmas bag (I thought it would make him smile) and the Christmas bag into the messenger bag. Ran back to my car, I don't know why there was such a feeling of urgency, maybe just nerves, and drove back to the intersection. Then I heard it.
Park your car.
Plain as day. "What? I thought I could just hand it out the window."
Park your car, you're not a drive-through.
So I drove passed the intersection and parked my car at a gas station on the corner. I grabbed the bag and started for the crosswalk. His back was to me when I reached him, so I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Um, sir... Sir?" It was a loud intersection and he didn't hear me at first. Then again he probably wasn't expecting some girl to stop and talk to him. He turned around and faced me.
"Hi, what's your name?"
"David"
"I'm Sarah, it's nice to meet you, David."
We shook hands.
"I just wanted to ask you, um, do you need anything? I mean, what do you need? I mean, I know you need something, I'm just wondering what it is." I was fumbling, I was nervous. I felt the eyes of every passenger in every car in that busy intersection burning holes in the back of my head.
He laughed, "I need everything." I realized I had asked him a stupid question. "I need a place to live, money, food, clothes, new shoes." I looked down at his shoes, they were pretty bad.
"Well, I have this bag, it's full of food and water. Oh, and sunscreen because you're arms are burning out here. I brought it for you, would you like it?" (Another stupid question, God doesn't always use the brightest followers, I'm figuring out.)
He closed his eyes and hung his head. "I don't believe it. I am so hungry, I will eat it right now." Opening his eyes he looked straight at me and said, "thank you, Sarah."
I handed him the bag and we talked for awhile. He's from Arizona, been here 2 weeks, likes the weather a lot better but it get's cold at night. I told him I'd bring him a new blanket. (I've gone back a few times, but he hasn't been there, I'll keep trying though.) I told him I'd look for some new shoes too. He thinks he wears a size 12, but he can't remember the last time he bought a pair. We walked across the street together and I kind of put my arm around him in a half hug way and told him I'd see him around.
So that's it. That's what I did. I made eye contact and that was all from me, the rest was from God. I understand that, while I'm not about to take up residency in Golden Gate Park, and I probably won't be making it up to LA anytime soon, I can make eye contact everyday, everywhere I go. Darren said to me, when I told him this story, "the world is full of David's who never get a second look because people don't see them as simply, people." He went on to say, "those u-turns in life are often the most significant." The person, I'm realizing, doesn't have to be homeless to need a second look. It may be a neighbor, a co-worker, a girl at my MOPS table who doesn't know Jesus and may slip through the mega-church cracks if someone doesn't make real eye contact with her.
I had to drive back through the intersection to finish my errands. As I pulled through the light I saw David sitting on a small brick wall opening the messenger bag.
I wonder if he smiled when he saw the Christmas bag.
Today I am thankful for...
1. the "thank you" notes my friend Kelly Hanson sends me all the time. It makes me feel like if she were to post her thankful list I'd be on it everyday.
2. Ben going back to sleep after he woke up from his morning nap so cranky.
3. Mark being able to sleep in this morning
4. the cookies I know I'm going to make later
5. being almost done with my Christmas shopping. (Any one know what I should get Mark? Yeah, me either.)
6. the beautiful blue sky with big, BIG white clouds I see outside my window.
7. getting to talk to Taylore on the phone, which is really a miracle because the girl is so busy.
8. OH, this is a big one...I'm really thankful for the plush nativity scene we bought for Ben for Christmas. It's so fun watching him play with baby Jesus and carry the wise men around the house. I think every household with kids in it should have one. (Go to www.christianbooks.com , I think it's called the Nativity Playset. It's really cute and non-breakable!!)
9. hand lotion from Trader Joe's that Heather gave me for my birthday.
10. the humidifier in Ben's room because now I feel a little better about his cough at night.
I've been debating for a few days now whether or not to tell this story. No one has heard it yet, except for one, and it's kind of a risk on my part to share it. I hesitate, not because I'm shy or anything, we all know THAT isn't true, but because it's not the type of story told very often. And with good reason; it may look like I'm fishing for compliments. A few "good for you's" or "way to go's". But I'm not, really, that's not why I'm telling you this. I'm telling you this for one reason, and one reason only; I want you to know that you can do what I did, it's that easy. In fact, in the little comment box, which I love by the way, I'd love to see a bunch of comments from all of you saying that you are going to do it too. No "well done's" or "good story's". Just a promise that you'll do the same thing. Because you can.
So, what's all the build up for, (purely dramatic affect) what did I do?
I made eye contact.
What? That's it? We make eye contact everyday!
No, this was different. This had a purpose. This was ordained by God.
Let me back up a little bit, give some history. Darren, my brother, stayed the weekend at my house. (You'll remember that from my thankful list.) He has an amazing ministry up in San Francisco where he and Pam and a team of people look after and out for the poor, the homeless, the marginalized. I've felt comfortable with those kinds of people, I always have, but within the last four or five years I feel like I've been out of practice. Throughout Jr. High and High school I regularly spent weekends in downtown LA. I'd go with my church, we'd cook breakfast in the park or take a homeless guy out to lunch. I think it's true that younger folks have no fear. I was never afraid while approaching someone laying on the sidewalk. It never made much sense to me why they were there in the first place, but that's a whole different blog, I think. Then I grew up, and so did my fears and all of the sudden I felt uncomfortable around the poor. Where I used to offer hugs, I began to find it hard to even look at them. I stopped going to that church, stopped going to LA and stopped having an active part in showing Christ's love to a very unloved and unreached people. Why is it that we'll travel around the world to share the love and joy of Jesus when an entire nation of people, starving on many different levels, live in the next city over? (Or next block, or next street...?)
This brings me back to last weekend, with Darren. He had just come from staying a few nights in Golden Gate Park with a few of his interns. They slept in the park, in 32 degree weather, spare changed, tried to get -then stay - warm and basically lived the life of a transient. While he was staying with me I asked him about his time in the park. I asked him a question I'm sure he's heard a thousand times from well-intentioned but scared suburbians, "what should I do when I see those guys standing at freeway off-ramps or in the middle of intersections?" (Cause, you know, none of us want to give them money because they're just going to use it to buy booze. And we wouldn't want to roll down our window anyway, because what if they have a gun? Right? That's not uncompassionate, that's logical. And I have a family to think about and I'm busy and I have dinner on the stove and I don't carry cash and I don't want to feel like I have to give everytime I see him and ... do I need to go on?) Darren said something along the lines of " just look at them. Make eye contact. After so many people look away, pretending they aren't there, it's easy for them to start to believe that they truly are invisible. Sometimes the best thing you can do is look at them."
So I did.
There's a man that stands in the middle of the cross walk on Adams and Brookhurst a few streets down from my house. I've passed by him so many times, looking away no doubt. On Tuesday I was running errands and I had a lot to do. I saw the green light turn to yellow as I approached the intersection and I had to stop at the red. Right in front of the man. I remembered what Darren said, so I looked at him.
And he looked at me.
As I looked in his eyes it was if a veil of social prejudices was lifted and I saw him as the man God made him. A simple human being with a story and a soul.
He carried a sign that read "Homeless. Can you help? Yes, you CAN." I kept looking at him and I prayed to myself, "Lord, what does he need?" The light turned green and I kid you not my car made a U-turn without so much as a thought from me. I drove home thinking, "what am I doing? What do I have that this guy would want?"
I got home, parked my van, ran into the house and I honestly believe the Holy Spirit was guiding me because I don't remember thinking about any of this. I ran into my kitchen and pulled out food I knew would last a few days but didn't need preparing. Bread, cheese, carrots, apples, fruit bars, a danish and bottles of water and sunscreen, too. I put it all in a plastic bag, but that seemed so impersonal. I found a Christmas bag, but then I pictured the man having to carry around a Christmas bag full of food. That didn't sit well with me.
What does he need?
I remembered a brand new big messenger shoulder bag I had only used one time. I hadn't seen it in over a year, but I was led right to it. I put the plastic bag in the Christmas bag (I thought it would make him smile) and the Christmas bag into the messenger bag. Ran back to my car, I don't know why there was such a feeling of urgency, maybe just nerves, and drove back to the intersection. Then I heard it.
Park your car.
Plain as day. "What? I thought I could just hand it out the window."
Park your car, you're not a drive-through.
So I drove passed the intersection and parked my car at a gas station on the corner. I grabbed the bag and started for the crosswalk. His back was to me when I reached him, so I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Um, sir... Sir?" It was a loud intersection and he didn't hear me at first. Then again he probably wasn't expecting some girl to stop and talk to him. He turned around and faced me.
"Hi, what's your name?"
"David"
"I'm Sarah, it's nice to meet you, David."
We shook hands.
"I just wanted to ask you, um, do you need anything? I mean, what do you need? I mean, I know you need something, I'm just wondering what it is." I was fumbling, I was nervous. I felt the eyes of every passenger in every car in that busy intersection burning holes in the back of my head.
He laughed, "I need everything." I realized I had asked him a stupid question. "I need a place to live, money, food, clothes, new shoes." I looked down at his shoes, they were pretty bad.
"Well, I have this bag, it's full of food and water. Oh, and sunscreen because you're arms are burning out here. I brought it for you, would you like it?" (Another stupid question, God doesn't always use the brightest followers, I'm figuring out.)
He closed his eyes and hung his head. "I don't believe it. I am so hungry, I will eat it right now." Opening his eyes he looked straight at me and said, "thank you, Sarah."
I handed him the bag and we talked for awhile. He's from Arizona, been here 2 weeks, likes the weather a lot better but it get's cold at night. I told him I'd bring him a new blanket. (I've gone back a few times, but he hasn't been there, I'll keep trying though.) I told him I'd look for some new shoes too. He thinks he wears a size 12, but he can't remember the last time he bought a pair. We walked across the street together and I kind of put my arm around him in a half hug way and told him I'd see him around.
So that's it. That's what I did. I made eye contact and that was all from me, the rest was from God. I understand that, while I'm not about to take up residency in Golden Gate Park, and I probably won't be making it up to LA anytime soon, I can make eye contact everyday, everywhere I go. Darren said to me, when I told him this story, "the world is full of David's who never get a second look because people don't see them as simply, people." He went on to say, "those u-turns in life are often the most significant." The person, I'm realizing, doesn't have to be homeless to need a second look. It may be a neighbor, a co-worker, a girl at my MOPS table who doesn't know Jesus and may slip through the mega-church cracks if someone doesn't make real eye contact with her.
I had to drive back through the intersection to finish my errands. As I pulled through the light I saw David sitting on a small brick wall opening the messenger bag.
I wonder if he smiled when he saw the Christmas bag.
Today I am thankful for...
1. the "thank you" notes my friend Kelly Hanson sends me all the time. It makes me feel like if she were to post her thankful list I'd be on it everyday.
2. Ben going back to sleep after he woke up from his morning nap so cranky.
3. Mark being able to sleep in this morning
4. the cookies I know I'm going to make later
5. being almost done with my Christmas shopping. (Any one know what I should get Mark? Yeah, me either.)
6. the beautiful blue sky with big, BIG white clouds I see outside my window.
7. getting to talk to Taylore on the phone, which is really a miracle because the girl is so busy.
8. OH, this is a big one...I'm really thankful for the plush nativity scene we bought for Ben for Christmas. It's so fun watching him play with baby Jesus and carry the wise men around the house. I think every household with kids in it should have one. (Go to www.christianbooks.com , I think it's called the Nativity Playset. It's really cute and non-breakable!!)
9. hand lotion from Trader Joe's that Heather gave me for my birthday.
10. the humidifier in Ben's room because now I feel a little better about his cough at night.
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